I dreamt about him again. this was one was way more intense. so basically I was at a place where I have been before. dreams wise.it was green, like a garden and it had small huts, like children tree houses, but that were bigger like a house once inside. I remember being then surrounded by the owner of the house which was a lady and then a man who I didn't feel comfortable with. I remember going outside and thinking about tom and wondering. it felt lonely and sad. empty. like I felt his absence as a painful silence, specially by being in a garden. eventually then the house felt like it was a family house, which seemed similar as the first one, or maybe the exact same, but was different, was made out of wood as well, but seemed more open, bigger and filled with family life. and there were other figures there that I don't remember anymore. I remember being in a room and someone came in and showed a book, which was so familiar, I remembered drawing that on the book but I am aware I didn't do it outside of the dream and even in the dream I don't remember, however I know I was the one who drew it. basically I drew you broke my heart on the pages of the book, which had cocktails recipes in its pages, it even had a small funny things in the drawings, which the person who came in, showed the person I was talking with, in that room. i believe it was my father who came in and had the book. this book I had send it to Tom. I remember going then outside and having this people in the living room, as if it was that time when some family members are saying goodbye by the door to the other ones. I remember seeing a girl who was aware I wanted to speak with him. I remember he had been hurt, like he had a mark in his neck. maybe as if he had been fished? or caught? I remember seeing him and not feeling surprised he was there. I grabbed him as I noticed he wanted to leave as well, and we go to a room as I think I was before. there we sit down not towards each other but facing forward. I remember talking with him and telling him how much his ghosting hurted me. how much I cried for months. how much it impacted me. I remember we were interrupted by these two figures which was talking his face was swollen, and the lady and I was saying that he would just get plump in a few days, which happened after a cosmetic procedure. after that interruption, me and Tom start talking again, I remember being a bit rough with him, like grabbing his hair and then I notice his cut on his neck and it hurted me seeing him like this. Then I keep asking reasons why he ghosted. wondering if it was because he met new people, or because he wasn't interested anymore in me, at some point he gives me his phone to see. I notice either a notification of a match and open. Tom is instead of facing forward like I am, he turned to the other side and he has his face low, supported by his arms. so perpendicular from me. his face on his hands. I open tinder, or tinder is already open, and I noticed a young girl, younger than him, sort of blonde with blue eyes, surrounded by friends, and she looks Scandinavian. then I try to unmatch but I don't want him to catch me so I stop, but he never went left that position with his face in his hands, leaning forward, 90 degress from me. then pops up another match and my heart drops and is a femboy. his photos seems like I was in there seeing it in real life. he was a twink, so also younger than Tom, also had blonde hair and the haircut of a more feminine guy, he was surrounded by friends in what seemed like a party. my heart was floored. I asked him if he was also dating guys, given the matches on tinder were set for girls and boys. he is still in the same position. that room felt dark and difficult to breathe in. I wake up.
Dreams about significant others, especially after feelings of loss or abandonment, can often serve as a canvas for our emotions, anxieties, and unresolved issues. Your dream reflects a complex interplay of longing, pain, and the desire for closure regarding your feelings for Tom. Here's a breakdown of potential meanings behind different elements of your dream:
The Garden: Gardens often symbolize growth, potential, and the beauty of life, but in your dream, it also reflects a feeling of loneliness and emptiness. This contrast could indicate that, while you yearn for a nurturing and fulfilling relationship, you instead feel a void due to Tom's absence.
The Houses: The different houses represent various aspects of your emotional world. One house feels familiar but is also tinged with melancholy — perhaps this reflects how you associate Tom with both happiness and sorrow. The bigger, filled-with-life house may signify your desire for a relationship that is open, welcoming, and full of love.
The Book: The book with cocktail recipes and your drawing of "you broke my heart" suggests a need for expression and perhaps a sense of humor in coping with heartbreak. Sharing the book with Tom indicates that you still feel a connection and perhaps wish for him to understand your experience of hurt.
The Conversations with Tom: Your direct dialogue with Tom about his ghosting reveals your unresolved feelings and the need for closure. The physicality of grabbing his hair and expressing your hurt demonstrates a mix of vulnerability and frustration, suggesting that you want him to acknowledge the impact of his actions on you.
The Interruption and Figures: The interrupting figures could signify distractions or unresolved issues in your life that prevent you from having a clear conversation with Tom. The swollen face might symbolize emotional burdens — your understanding of how he may also be suffering or dealing with his own issues.
Tinder Matches: Discovering Tom's matches to younger people can represent feelings of insecurity, fear of inadequacy, or worries about being replaced. His posture (with his face in his hands) suggests a feeling of resignation or defeat — perhaps mirroring your feelings of overwhelm or sadness about the situation.
Emotional Atmosphere: The dark room symbolizes the heavy emotional state you are experiencing regarding your relationship with Tom. It encapsulates feelings of anxiety, sadness, or fear regarding your romantic life.
Overall, this dream signifies your ongoing struggle with loss, unresolved feelings, and a search for understanding and closure in your relationship with Tom. It reveals the depth of your emotions and the impact of his absence on your life, suggesting that you might need the space to process these feelings fully. Engaging with these emotions consciously in your waking life—through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or even seeking closure with Tom, if that’s possible—could be important steps towards healing.